Premier Prentice likes corporate-speak (“under new management”, “price takers, not price makers”, etc) so let’s apply a corporate communication tool, the FAQ, to explain the government’s rationale for Bill 10. And let’s assume for a wild and crazy moment that the answers his spokesperson provides are the unvarnished truth.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q: What problem is Bill 10 intended to rectify?
A: Research shows that LGBTQ students feel more unsafe in their schools, suffer more from depression, and make more suicide attempts than heterosexual students.
Q: What can schools do to help LGBTQ students?
A: They can allow students to form gay-straight alliances (GSAs) which have been shown to reduce the incidence of depression and suicide in LBGTQ students.
Q: Does Bill 10 allow students to form GSAs?
A: Yes, but students need the consent of their school boards.
Q: So that’s a no, right?
A: Yes. I mean no. Students can sue a school board that refuses to give them permission.
Q: You’re joking. You want kids to litigate to protect themselves from discrimination?
A: Um. Yes.
Q: Are you expecting students to hold bake sales to fund their lawsuits?
A: Well, the government isn’t going to subsidize them. The government subsidizes corporations. It does not subsidize people…well, okay it subsidizes rich people. Why am I talking about this?
Q: OK just to make sure I’ve got this straight. Bill 10 does NOT allow kids to form GSAs, because they can be shut down by red neck school boards, but it’s a good thing because it lets kids spend thousands of dollars and countless years in court trying to force school boards to allow them to form GSAs to protect them from discrimination. Did I get that right?
Q: And this makes sense, why?
A: Because it “balances” the rights of LGBTQ students to be free from discrimination with the rights of parents and school boards to discriminate against them. And guess what, grownups’ rights trump kids’ rights because grownups vote.
Q: Looks to me like redneck grownups’ rights trump the rights of parents who would like to see GSAs in their kids’ schools.
A: Yeah, that too.
Q: Are you proud of yourself?
A: You bet!
Q: Is there anything I can do about this ludicrous situation?
A: Sure, you can vote out redneck school boards…and while you’re at it you can vote out the government that gave them the right to take away your children’s rights. Oops did I just say that out loud?
Interview terminated. Spokesperson fired.
NEWSFLASH!! Prentice amends Bill 10. If a school board rejects the kids request for a GSA they can contact the Minister of Education who will “facilitate and support” setting up a GSA. Bill 10 passes 38 to 17.
Q: What does “facilitate and support” mean?
A: How would I know? Set up a meeting in an empty portable across town—no wait we don’t have any spare portables. Write the school board a “Gee whiz guys, help me out here” letter? Set up a Facebook page? Twitter “Go kids go!”?
Interview terminated. Second spokesperson fired.